a thousand turns of tides.

so far being back in the united states means:

being lonely.

being really, really lonely.

everything is here, everything is happening, everything is now

i am shaking from the quickness - or is it the coffee? - i shake from the constant motion
of the faces around me
of the lights, the sounds

as the days slowly, ever more quickly, quickly, quickly count down i’ve realized something
i don’t want to leave
(please don’t make me leave)
i don’t know what i’m coming home to anymore
(i don’t want to come home anymore)

frantically pressing the shutter
click click clicking my sanity into the memories

i forgot how sad cowboy bebop is
i forgot that i always skip the last few episodes

i forgot how happy my heart is
i forgot how much i love every atom, every star
but i also forgot how much i can feel

(and i’ve been so scattered lately
trying to pull everything together and focus on
the faces around me
the lights, the sounds

but it can be hard to concentrate when both
your thoughts
and the scorpions
are falling from
your head
and the ceiling
respectively)

leaving for costa rica tonight! i’ll be gone for 3.5 months, queue should keep going for a bit. i’ll update when i can :)

my life right now:

this has been the most amazing winter break i’ve ever had.
i am so so SO excited to go to costa rica (and also nervous) but at the same time i can’t believe i’m leaving already.
i have such incredible and beautiful friends here and i’m so sad to be leaving them.
AND IF YOU ARE READING THIS AND YOU’RE MY FRIEND I LOVE YOU.
i am so fortunate to have the friends i have here and to be surrounded by such genuine and nice and hilarious and amazing people, and i wish i could take you all back to school with me in the fall!!

you know you’re really lucky when most days it’s hard to pick just one picture for the 365 project because you are surrounded by incredible people in an incredible place.

(except for today because i spent it on the couch watching movies all day due to the WORST STOMACHACHE OF MY LIFE auuughhhhhhhh)

anyway you’re all beautiful, mwah!

and i’m learning how to make a queue so my blog can blog when i’m not blogging whaaaaa? this is a neat party trick. and i’m excited about it. 

be able to flawlessly rap azealia’s 212 before february. YUP.